so that wasnt chicken after all
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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