I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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