Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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