I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
