oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I could make wine with my vomit
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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