How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
