dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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