I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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