we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
