it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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