His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
