I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
