Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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