quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
