i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
