You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
