And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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