i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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