no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
