I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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