I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
