addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
