party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
love makes seman taste better
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
