Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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