I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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