His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
