Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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