dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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