Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
