Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
