his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
