that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
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