I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
