I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
