He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
