He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You made out with two different species that night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
