I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
