I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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