So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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