I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
