Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
