Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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