i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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