how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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