So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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