And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
