Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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