I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Bang-toberfest begins!!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
