let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
