not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
